The Monster Within
by Shwee
Summary: Yaoi. Roxas has always loved Axel, but their relationship is anything but great. When a certain bartender catches Roxas' eyes, will he be able to find salvation in the man? Or will Axel whip his own butt into shape? Lemons. AkuRoku, Roxas/Zexion
1. Green is the Color of Sorrow

**AN: **So, yes, I have posted this before, but it's evolved from a oneshot into an actual story, so I am reposting it. Oh, and I don't own anything besides the plot, so don't worry about it.

**-0o0-**

**The Monster Within**

_Chapter One: _Green is the Color of Sorrow

Axel had always been such a flirt, never committing to anyone, breaking hearts and leaving them behind. He'd been like that for years, since anyone could remember. So why did seeing the redhead with another man vex Roxas so painfully? The blonde was used to being abused and then loved on by the green-eyed man, over and over again to the point of mere heartbreak. But this time was different.

Roxas could feel salt stinging his eyes as his gaze followed the movements of his beauty's swaying hips and teasing hands. It wasn't anything new, watching Axel woo another conquest; he'd been doing it for years. What made this time so different was that his heart-wrenching smile was turned on a member of the opposite sex. The girl was practically beaming with happiness at attracting Axel, who was infamous for his preference to be with men, never women.

A sickly roll festered its way through Roxas' stomach as he watched the two flirt, Axel's lanky frame leaned up against the far wall of the luxuriously decorated nightclub, his legs crossed, his hands gesticulating suggestively. He was caressing the girl's short black hair, playfully fingering the ribbon that was tied around her head.

Disgust crossed the Roxas' face as the redhead moved in to steal a kiss from the stunned female. He didn't even need to ask, he was so sure of his game. Her brown eyes fluttered shut as the gesture was returned, her small hands reaching up to lace in his soft hair, so overcome with lust that she could barely stand.

Axel had that affect on people. Somewhere between his dashingly good looks, red hair, emerald-green eyes and the black tattoos that rained down beneath them, you absolutely lost your mind when you looked at him. Roxas was familiar with the feeling- the feeling like you were the only one that would ever matter to the man- it was the only thing that kept him coming back time after time. It almost made Roxas crave the abuse.

It seemed that the more Axel mistreated him, the better the period of loving between them became. Sometimes he would leave Roxas for months on end, doing everything in his ability to stay away from the blonde and dating all sorts of other men. But there was always a breakup that followed close behind, leaving the redhead empty and used and unrelentingly lusty for Roxas. Axel would come crawling back, throwing around words like, "baby" and "Roxy", trying desperately to get in Roxas' pants until, after a short debate about the blonde's feelings, the two were entangled in a sweaty heap of flesh. Roxas felt his loins twinge a bit just thinking about it, longing almost painfully after the redhead's love.

Roxas twisted away sullenly from the scene unfolding before him, and turned his eyes instead to the barkeep that was hurriedly rushing about behind the large slab of oak counter. The man was attractive enough; semi-long gray-blue hair cascaded down his face, obscuring a pair of stormy blue eyes and a small nose set just above a pair of pouty pink lips. He didn't seem like the friendliest of men and he had an air of insolence about him, but the blonde felt a sudden allurement towards him.

Roxas followed the man with his eyes, waiting patiently for contact. When the barkeep did indefinitely look his way, Roxas found himself trying to flirt with the man, giving his drink order with luscious words and running his tongue over his lips in a seductive manner. It made the man's eyes light up in amusement as he fetched the blonde an apple martini.

When the glass of green liquid was plunked down in front of him, Roxas felt the flirtation flee from his body, the stunning depths of the drink bringing forth memories of Axel's all-knowing eyes; it left him vastly empty. The barkeep, who had introduced himself as Zexion, seemed to get the idea, leaving the poor boy to sulk after his alcohol with a twinge of a sympathetic look.

With the glass of apple-flavored liquor held tightly in his hand, Roxas let himself drown in his memories.


	2. Black is the Color of Monstrosity

**AN: **Aaaannnd…. Up goes the next chapter. I'm not sure if the format of the chapter titles is gonna stick for all of them, but I just figured I'd continue the trend. Ah well. Anyways, this chapter is VERY graphic (slash, duh). You have been warned, don't flame me! Lemon! XD Please review and let me know if you'd like me to continue. Thanks! 3

**Disclaimer: **Nope, nope, nope. I own nothing but the plot. cries

_Chapter Two: Black is the Color of Monstrosity _

Hung-over and stiff as hell, Roxas woke the next morning trapped in a suffocating tangle of blankets and sheets. He was so crowded that his breath evaded him and left his lungs begging for fresh air. Thrashing about, he ultimately ended up on the floor, free of the cotton, but left unbearably alone. He had no idea how the hell he had gotten home, but a quick glance out the window revealed that he had indeed driven there; his red Sunfire was parked in its normal spot amongst the pallid-looking pavement.

Pulling himself into a sitting position, Roxas ran a shaky hand through his hair; it was soaked with sweat, hot and sticky. His hands made a feeble attempt to calm the pounding of his head.

He stood with a great effort and made his way into the kitchen, flipping the switch on the coffee machine as he popped a couple of Excedrin into his mouth. He rinsed them down with a glass of water and dropped into a nearby chair.

The smell of roasted coffee cleared his head a bit and he was finally able to open his eyes without an attack of pain lancing through temples of his skull. A cold draft passed over his body and crippled his flesh with goose bumps, making him realize that he didn't have any clothes on. This realization brought back a flicker of memories from the previous night and Roxas made his way back to his bedroom to throw on a pair of boxers, lost in thought.

It was all very brief. He could remember another mouth moving gently against his, lips that were foreign to him and were much, much different than Axel's. The hair that he had laced his fingers through was soft and fine, blue-grey in color. His eyes were a startling, almost fake, turquoise blue, set big and beautiful in his face. The man had tasted like liquor, very cheap vodka, to be exact. It was very fuzzy other than that, but the small bit of insight made Roxas wish he could remember the rest of last night.

The blonde slowly opened his eyes. He had come to rest on his barren bed with a pair of cotton boxers held in hand. His mind was foggy with memories, and it hurt to think. He pressed fingers violently into his temples before pulling on his underwear and collapsing back onto his bed.

He couldn't get the feeling of Zexion's lips to leave his own, even as he rubbed an arm across his mouth. The man with the turquoise eyes tasted so different than Axel, but it wasn't just the taste that befuddled Roxas, it was the sensation. Zexion's kisses left the blonde's mouth feeling tingly and soft, whereas Axel's always left his mouth feeling bruised and swollen. He was unaccustomed to such softness, almost juvenile in a way, when he was kissed. It made his cheeks flush in embarrassment as he suddenly wondered what Zexion had thought of the way _he_ kissed.

Roxas was drawn back into the kitchen by the intensifying scent of coffee beans and he decided to let the issue slip from his feeble mind. Pouring a glass of the black-brown substance, he gulped it down straight, no sweeteners or anything and ignored the bitter taste of the scalding heat as it ravaged his insides. He concentrated on the liquid as it flowed down his throat, centering his mind on the feel of it. It helped him think better and allowed him to open his mind to multiple things without being overloaded.

His thoughts, however, never really got the chance to form again; they were interrupted by a loud knock at the door.

Forgoing a trip to his closet for more clothes, Roxas opted to just answer the door dressed, as he was. The brass knob was cold in his heated palm and shocked him when he reached for it. The hinges gave an angry groan at having to move so early in the morning, but they gave nonetheless. The big wooden slab swung open to reveal an all-to-familiar sight: his on-and-off again, green-eyed lover, Axel.

The redhead looked completely disheveled. Eyeliner ran down his cheeks, mixed with little pools of dried salt, whether from sweat or tears, Roxas couldn't tell. His emerald eyes were rimmed with sleep and red from overexposure and too much alcohol. Roxas was sure that he had a hangover to match his own.

Roxas was surprised to see was that Axel's eyes were filled with anger and malice instead of their usual self-pity and lowliness. It frightened the blonde, and he slowly withdrew from the open doorway to stand in the middle of his kitchen, not greeting Axel, but not turning him away either. He moved to the counter to pour another cup of coffee for himself and one for the redhead too, though he wasn't sure the man was actually going to accept it, he looked completely livid.

Roxas heard the door slam behind him and it sent him into a jump, making some coffee spill down his front. As he mopped it off his chest with a dishrag, a pair of slender fingers threaded their way into his hair and massaged his scalp gently.

"Hello, love." Axel's voice was warm as it caressed its way through his lips and onto Roxas' neck, but it was bitter with underlying sarcasm.

"Hey, Axel." Roxas barely dared to speak, so afraid that he would set his lover off and end up getting the butt of Axel's fury. The pallid white digits continued to work their way into the blonde's scalp, gradually becoming more vigorous before they eventually balled into a fist and pulled tight.

Roxas stifled a small whimper of pain and let Axel have his way, secretly yearning for the violent way the redhead made love. He knew that this relationship wasn't healthy, and that he needed to pull away from Axel, to tell him to beat it, to get lost, but in truth, this is what Roxas lived for. He'd never known anyone else before the redhead; Axel had been with him on and off since Roxas was sixteen.

Axel was a solid four years older than Roxas and he had begun to lose interest in him when the blonde had gotten old enough to take care of himself. Axel lusted after the small and helpless. He loved to feel mildly like a pedophile and always went after subjects significantly younger than he was. Even now, the only reason that he came back to Roxas time and time again was because he knew that his lover would let him have his way, pound into him relentlessly and take out all his frustrations on him. At least, that's what he told himself, but deep down there was a part of that malicious, self-involved heart-of-ice that really loved the blonde; that's why they had been together for long. Neither one could live without the other. Whereas Roxas had already figured that out, Axel was not going to be quick to admit it.

Axel's strong arms twirled Roxas around to face him, and the blonde tensed his body, anticipating a blow of some kind, but the redhead wasn't quick to give such gratuities. Instead, Axel pulled him into an awkward hug that befuddled the blonde as the redhead planted butterfly kisses upon his little neck.

Roxas had to admit that it was a little out of character for the man to show him affection like this, but the thought started to dissolve when Axel's light ministrations turned sour, his pearly white teeth gathering Roxas into his mouth and bruising their way into his tan skin.

Of course Axel wasn't being nice; he was just using new and improved techniques to get Roxas into bed even quicker. This time he had used a bit of sympathy to cloud his true motive: getting to Roxas' neck. It was the boy's ultimate week spot, especially when bitten; he was a sucker for pain.

Roxas made no attempt at stopping the Axel as he scooped him up in his arms and carried him to the bed that they had shared on so many occasions. He dumped his light load down among the messy sheets, grabbing the boy's wrists to pin them down as he straddled his supple figure. Axel's experienced mouth searched out Roxas', pushing it open easily and plundering about with his tongue. The boy was sweet on his lips, like bitter coffee and stale liquor, a wonderful combination.

Axel's nose brushed down the Roxas' neck as he made his way down the naked chest that was exposed to his eyes. His alabaster fingers traveled to tug at the hem of Roxas' black boxers. The cotton was feeble and raw against his hands and was discarded swiftly, exposing the entirety of his blonde lover.

Roxas felt heat burn his cheeks as the older male looked down at his fully bare body; he curled his fingers loosely in the sheets. Axel's lips were on him again, this time trying to coax him into a hardened state of arousal. The blonde twitched as his lover's flaming hair brushed the inside of his thighs. The soft tresses sent goose bumps festering along his legs.

Roxas could feel Axel's lips moving against the underside of his sex and it made his eyes roll back in his head. He fisted Axel's hair tight in his fingers and arched into his mouth. The soft locks felt wonderful in his hands, giving him a sense of control. He pulled violently on the redhead's scalp, taking out all his doubts on him. A sharp bite to the hypersensitive skin told Roxas that he wasn't supposed to be enjoying this, that the redhead was doing it purely for himself. The blonde lowered back down onto the sheets, and even though pain was riddling his arousal quite uncomfortably, he couldn't help but steal a quick glance at his lover.

Axel's lids were drawn over his emerald eyes, outlined by mascara-thickened lashes; the black substance was running down his face to pool with the previously dried eyeliner. Axel really was the most beautiful man Roxas had ever laid eyes on, but as he watched the redhead work, the blonde realized that everything he had once loved about Axel had completely faded into oblivion. There was no subtlety in the way that his mouth encased Roxas' errection, it was fast and dry, so much so that the poor blonde couldn't even enjoy it. It was a wonder that he was able to maintain his state of arousal, tears now welling in his cerulean eyes.

Satisfied with his work, Axel withdrew Roxas from his mouth, standing to remove his leather pants and black trench coat as he shook off his boots.

Roxas took this moment to prepare himself, hands resting shakily upon the bed. Half of him wanted nothing more than to pull himself out of the suffocating blankets and run for his life, but the other half knew that he craved this just as much as Axel did.

The blonde could hardly rip himself in half, so he decided to go with the easier choice: to shut down his mind and give in. He became oblivious to all feeling and emotion so that when Axel flipped him over and shoved into him, bone dry and doggy style, the only thing that escaped Roxas was a solitary tear, subtly rolling its way down one flushed cheek. He was hurt, but there was no more time for tears now, only blackness where his mind used to be.

He unleashed the monster that lived inside him, the one that loved the things Axel did. The redhead's hands were hot on his hips, digging in fiercely as he plundered the blonde's body and earned dry moans from the creature's parted lips. Pain blossomed deep in Roxas' back, but the monster sucked it in, processed it, and thrived on it. He felt himself pushing back into Axel's furious thrusts, taking the man in to the hilt.

Roxas felt like throwing up with disgust at what he was allowing to be done to him, yet he remained on the sidelines, a helpless bystander.

Axel leaned in; placing his rock-hard chest against Roxas' sweat lined back, fiery hair tickling the blonde's sensitive ribs.

"Scream for me, Roxy Baby," his tongue shot out to lick the sweat from Roxas, "I want to feel your pain." Axel's words were sharp through his clenched teeth; aimed right at the base of Roxas' exposed neck and followed up with a nip to the blonde's earlobe.

"Unnn…"

Heat swirled around the entwined bodies, whipping about like a desert storm as it ripped moans from their parted lips. Axel's nails were sharp on Roxas' tanned hips, creating deep wells of crimson as they tore at the thick flesh. A startled cry fell from the blonde's mouth at the pain, but it was followed by a deep groan as the redhead stooped to lick the blood from his body.

The taste of iron and salt gathered on Axel's laving tongue and sent him reeling with bloodlust, so overcome by it that he thought about tearing the blonde beauty below him to shreds just for another taste of the sweet liquid. His hair flew about as he threw back his head, trying to resist the urge as he concentrated on piercing the boy's body.

Roxas could tell that Axel was close to climax, the space that he filled had become larger, expanding with the redhead's arousal. Roxas fisted the sheets; his knuckles bone white, overwhelmed with the feeling of being completed so fully. There was a shifting of hips behind the boy as the Axel took on a different angle, the tip of him brushing the blonde's prostate.

"Ahhh!" The moan was ripped from Roxas' lips and he pushed blindly back against Axel's thrusting errection. The redhead ran his fingers up the blonde's back, scraping with nails on the way back down, doing everything he could to make the boy scream.

"Ah! Unn…" Roxas lost the support of his arms, falling face first into the plushy bed, not even trying to save himself. Exhausted, he let himself be pounded into the sheets, fingers still wrapped up tightly in the material.

Axel let out a startled moan, thrown off guard by the increasing tightness of the boy at this new angle, and shifted up on his knees a bit more to sink in deeper. He felt things tightening low in his body, becoming almost painful. It made him thrust wildly into the blonde, losing his rhythm with the oncoming climax.

Roxas' body reacted to the crazed thrusts and he found himself tightening to create more friction. The tip of his errection grazed across the sheets of his bed, tearing a moan from his mouth. He thrust blindly against it; the combination of the rubbing and Axel's pounding body sending him hurling over that blissful edge.

A shower of sparks exploded behind his eyelids as his body twisted and writhed in orgasm. He felt himself pulsing, spilling into the sheets below his body while Axel gave a few more thrusts. The redhead buried himself to the hilt and gave one last moan before filling the blonde with a sticky heat.

The small room was left utterly quiet as Axel fell down on top of Roxas, no longer able to sustain his own weight. He positioned himself so he wasn't completely crushing the blonde then let sleep overtake him. As he drifted off, he tried futilely to remember the last time he had actually slept in a familiar bed.

Roxas lay completely still as he listened to dreams overcome his lover and tried not to think too hard about what he had just done. He figured he'd be used to this empty feeling by now, seeing as this occurrence had become very regular, but he could still feel the tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. He vaguely wondered what his life would be like without the redhead there to complicate it, but that world seemed empty, devoid of anything solid. Roxas had molded his life around Axel, and that was all he knew, but as he let the tears slip down his red-flushed face, he hoped that everything would change for him soon.


End file.
